Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Next up were the strawberries. Sigh - I totally screwed those up. Again measuring bit me in the ass - I measured the sugar but not the strawberries - recipe said 8 cups of berries at about a pound and a half. I had 2 pounds I don't need to measure, except there's WAY to much sugar. It's suppose to be a strawberry balsamic jam - but I forgot the balsamic. It's way to loose. Not really a jam - more like a syrup. I tried it over ice cream last night - it's like candied strawberries. It's too sweet to eat. I was suppose to get 6 jars full - I only got 4 just think about how much extra sugar is in there.... yuck. So now I've got 4 jars of strawberry syrup - that I have no clue what to do with.
I must say though - I had fun... can't wait to try it again.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I went to lunch yesterday with a co-worker & had to listen to her do the same thing. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do women beat themselves up constantly over their eating habits & their body shape? I have another friend who is a size 6 who just loves to tell me how she needs to loose 10 pounds – cuz her “back fat” is out of control. Seriously?! I’ve got bigger rolls under my chin!
I have my own issues with food (don’t we all). I used to have a very dangerous relationship with food. I was a serious binge eater – and probably would have become a bulimic had I been capable (I can’t make myself – I’ve tried.) Over the last few years I’ve done a lot of soul searching and developed a much healthier relationship with food and my body. I let go of the guilt. I eat what I want when I want & answer to no one for it. I’ve found that without the guilt I eat less. I even eat healthier – by not denying the bad foods I allow myself enjoy to “good” foods more often.
You all have seen pictures of me – I’m a big girl, but I’ve accepted my body and learned to focus on the positives – I have great legs, and cute feet, and an awesome rack. ;) Is my tummy a little pudgier than it should be – probably – does that define me as a person? Absolutely not. When I stopped letting food define me I became a much happier person.
I’m healthy and I’m active and I’d rather be fat than go through the mental torture I used to put myself through. Letting go of the guilt was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It took me years. I still have my moments of guilt/depression triggered eating – old habits are very hard to break. But I’m SO much better than I was. I can count my last binge in months instead of days.
I had a point… what was it…. I forget… oh yes, my SIL. So I spent the weekend with her & her guilt & her issues and it made me feel really shitty about myself (she is much smaller than me & if she’s fat then I’m the size of a house.) I hate that I let her make me feel like that. I hate that women do that to each other all the time without even realizing they’re doing it. Don’t even get me started on clothing stores & Hollywood. It’s ridiculous. I have clothes in my closet that range over 6 different sizes, but we’re not going there. My point is we’re all beautiful regardless of shape or size. And be careful when you criticize yourself – you may be hurting someone else in the process.